Time and Purpose

As I eluded to yesterday, my preacher's Sunday night sermon really spoke to me.  I thought about it on my five minute drive home and woke up thinking about it Monday morning.  I think that many of us are extremely busy with our jobs, families, friends, and other things, and we live in a society where everyone, particularly women, feel like we are failures if we don't do everything and don't do everything we do perfectly.  This is something I struggle with and I'm sure many of you can relate to it.  If you know how I and many others feel, I encourage you to share your thoughts. I've provided a SimplyLinked at the bottom of this post (this is my first try with this, so if it doesn't work correctly, I'm sorry) if you'd like to share your thoughts.

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At church Sunday night, something my preacher said in his sermon really hit me.  He was teaching about the Laodiceans (Revelation 3:14-21) and how they were so wrapped up in materialistic things that they were lukewarm for God.  He also said that they were so busy that they didn't take time for God.  While I don't consider myself to be materialistic even though I do like nice things and generally speaking, I spend time with God everyday, I sometimes feel like my time spent with God can get to be more like something on my to do list that I do along with all the other things that keep my schedule jam packed.  I don't like that and it shouldn't be that way. 

With all of that said, I really need to focus on what God has for me to do and the way to do that is to spend time with Him, growing closer to Him, learning more about Him, and listening.  My life is extremely scheduled and I rarely have any real "down time" that I so desperately need.  Work obligations are of course non-negotiable and for the next six weeks or so, I am slammed with events, many of them all day and night events.  But the things that are negotiable are the volunteer time I put in with Junior League and other community organizations.

Growing up, I always said I wanted to do charity work and have a career in cause-related marketing (my honors program thesis in undergrad was actually on cause-related marketing).  Now, I'm almost twenty-five and I definitely have started my career in this field.  I don't want to get burnt out though and I'm scared that all of my other "work" could potentially cause that.  

I love my job and love that I get to do something that I love.  Even on the days when my work doesn't seem to make an impact (I like to see fast results and in my field, results aren't usually seen for 20-24 months), I realize that what I do as far as the marketing/pr/fundraising efforts of my organization are extremely vital in the economic success of this area.  It's a huge deal to me that God has answered my silent prayers and blessed me so early with a career that I love.

But when it all comes down to it, what do I need to let my non-work focus cover?  I think that it's important to think about our passions because I believe God gives us the desire to do certain things and equips us with the tools we need to do those things.  So, what are my passions?  What are the areas where I feel that God wants to use me?

In addition to the whole "charity" thing and of course being a wife and mother (I'll lump these two together as my number one passion that I hope will one day be a reality), my loves are Vacation Bible School and young people, younger (teenage) girls especially.  So how does this all fit in with what I'm supposed to do?  I don't know yet.  I have some ideas and some things I feel like I'd like to do down the road, but right now, I hardly have the time to sit and pull together some of these things.

This post may have made no sense at all to you, but I wanted to share it.  I've felt a little overwhelmed the last few days (and I'm not one who feels overwhelmed very often) thinking about all the things going on in my world from an extremely busy work schedule the next few months to "outside" things like my work with JL, AHA, and other things I'd like to do, plus family, friends, and other concerns I have.

I think what God was telling me Sunday night is that I have to breathe.  It's ok to slow down.  It's important to make the time to take time with God to talk to Him and more important, listen to Him.  I don't want to one day look back (and we all know how I like to evaluate my life!) and see opportunities I've missed or things I should have done but didn't because I was too busy to even know about them.

On my heart.

I've been trying to write this post for almost two months now, and I've written it in my head over and over, but today, I'm finally sitting down at my computer to type it out.

First, I want to say God is good and His mercies are new every morning.

Second, I want to ask you for your prayers.

In December, after a routine MRI, we found out that there was a possibility that PC's tumor wanted to get out and play.  We also found out that his doctors recommended he have a biopsy to determine whether what they saw was tumor growth or radiation effects.  We, of course, were praying for radiation effects.

In January, he had another MRI less than a week before the biopsy.  This time, one of his doctors thought the improvement from the December MRI was so good that a biopsy might not be needed.  What a thing to rejoice about!  Even though we found out the next day that it would be best for him to have the biopsy to totally confirm whatever it was, we felt good. 

Almost three weeks ago the biopsy was performed.  He did great during the surgery and recovery.  As we were driving to lunch after church yesterday, we were talking and something came up about the surgery.  It's hard to believe that less than three weeks ago he had samples taken from his brain.  If you didn't know it, you wouldn't even think it.

Last week, we found out that instead of being the raditation effects like we hoped, it is tumor.  Thankfully he had the biopsy.  Thankfully we know what it is.  Thankfully there have been advancements in medicine to treat this thing.  Thankfully he will start taking chemo.  Orally.  Thankfully we have a God who loves us and is here WITH us through everything. 

A friend of mine and I were talking about several situations close to home to us over the last few weeks.  I can't help but think, "what about the people who don't know Jesus?  Those who don't have His saving grace and those who don't know the Hope He so freely gives us?"

I grew up in Christian home.  I trusted the Lord when I was younger.  I thought I had faith.  The faith I thought was so strong has grown stronger and stronger over the past few years.  God is faithful.  God is amazing.  Jesus healed thousands of years ago; Jesus heals today!

No matter what you're facing in life, no matter what worries you have whether they be physical, emotional, financial, relational - no matter what they are, Jesus knows.  If He knows every desire of my heart wouldn't it also be that He knows every fear and every worry? 

Trust in the Lord, your God, with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He'll make your paths striaght.  Proverbs 3:5-6

I firmly feel that when we have an obstacle in our life - whatever it be - we can chose to fear or we can chose to hope.  We can be fearful of our future and worried about what might be or we can be hopeful and trust in God's love and grace and look forward with sweet anticipation.  I choose hope.  I hope you do, too.

I want to ask you to please pray with us and for us:

1.  Pray that the Temodar works the way it's supposed to and works fast.  Pray that it reaches all of the bad cells and totally eradicates them.  Forever.

2.  Pray that when PC has his first MRI during treatment that it will be positive and will show the tumor disappearing or disappeared!

3.  Pray that PC will not have any negative effects from the medicine and that he won't be nauseous and fatigued.

Thank you for your prayers!



Christmas Giving

I absolutely love giving gifts at Christmas!  I love it more than opening gifts for myself.

When I was growing up, my parents worked with the youth group at my church.  One of my favorite memories of this time of year is going with them and all the youth to Walmart or the mall to Christmas shop for a needy family(ies) from our town.  I loved going around with the "teenagers" when I was little and helping them pick out clothes and toys for the children.  After shopping, they would all go back to my house to wrap presents and eat lasagna (as Melissa reminded us last night!) before taking the gifts to the family(ies).

When I was in college, we didn't really have a youth leader at our church, and I sort of fell into that position and had youth group.  This tradition of shopping for a needy family continued and was so fun and rewarding.  Fast forward and most of the youth went to college (I was only a few years older than most) leaving the gap between their age group and the younger kids.

It's been about two years since I've shopped for a family, and this year, I had the opportunity to help two.

Last week, I received an e-mail from someone about a family of four children that wouldn't be having a Christmas.  I have wanted to do something to help someone this Christmas season and was about to get a name off of an Angel Tree at the mall when I got this e-mail, so I adopted one of the kids anonymously and PC and I went shopping!  The little boy is 7 and into WWE.  Me, I'm not so much into anything like wrestling nor do I know anything about it, and I haven't ever really been around little boys until PC's adorable nephew, so I was lost.  Luckily, PC works for an entertainment venue, so he's seen his fair share of wrestling and knows about the popular wrestlers, so we got him some wrestling things, a game the family can enjoy together, a puzzle (for some reason, I've bought quite a few puzzles for gifts this year), and some clothes.  This weekend, we wrapped up the gifts at my house and I took them to be delivered Monday.

My Sunday School class also adopted three children this year.  Last night, a few of us met to shop for this family of three sisters.  We bought them each several outfits, pajamas, and socks and toys and games.  We wrapped them all at my house after and are going to deliver them tonight or tomorrow.  It's so rewarding to watch children who weren't expecting to have a Christmas at all open gifts from strangers.

Christmas really is all about giving.  I know I've said it over and over, but I feel so guilty about the sheer amount of gifts under my tree for people who have anything and everything when there are people all around who have nothing.  One year, I'd like to adopt a whole family and instead of buying so many gifts for my loved ones, spend on those that truly need things.  Giving doesn't mean only material gifts, but giving of ourselves- our love and our time. 

It's important that we remember about the greatest gift of all, Jesus Christ, all year long and not only at Christmas time.     "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

I hope you and your loved ones have a wonderful Christmas and remember the true reason for the season!

I Get It

Do you ever read or hear something multiple times, and then, all of a sudden, you "get" it?

I had one of those moments over the past week.  I can't pinpoint exactly when it happened, but it did, and I was reminded of it last night.

Romans 8:26-27 (NIV) tells us, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God."  This is such a comforting thought!

At times, I feel like I get overwhelmed when I'm praying.  I think of people, things, and situations I want to talk to the Lord about, but sometimes, when I sit down to pray, I get overwhelmed.  My mind starts to wander, I feel like I babble on and on, and sometimes, I really don't feel like I have the words to convey what my heart is feeling and trying to say.

This verse from Romans "clicked" with me this week and weekend.  I've read it several times over the past week and it was even underlined in my Bible (from more than likely years ago) with the words "Christ intercedes for ME!" written in all caps, but for some reason, it hadn't quite clicked before.

How awesome is it that we can rest in God's promise that even when we don't know what to pray or we can't find the words to say, the Spirit of the Lord is praying for us, continually!  We serve an awesome God!

If you read these verses from other translations, this is what you get:

The Message:  Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

The Amplified Bible:  So too the [Holy] Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance.  And He Who searches the hearts of men knows what is in the mind of the [Holy] Spirit [what His intent is], because the Spirit intercedes and pleads [before God] in behalf of the saints according to and in harmony with God's will.

New King James Version:  Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.  Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

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If you will, please pray with me about these situations:
1.  My dear PC.  For a brief background, about three years ago, he found out he had a brain tumor and had surgery to remove it.  Earlier this year, it started growing, so he went through several weeks of radiation.  He has had three MRI's since radiation ended, and at last week's, we found out that there is some additional swelling around the old tumor area.  Since radiation's effects can look similar to a tumor trying to grow, he'll have a follow up MRI next month.  Considering his health, his doctors feel that it is likely the radiation's effects, but as you can imagine, it is easy to worry.  Pray with us that the radiologist will not see any increased blood flow to the area and that when we go in January, that area will be totally clear.  I believe that God has healed him completely and will continue to do so, and this is an opportunity we have to put our faith and trust totally in Him!
2.  One of the bloggers whose blog I read daily, Pleasant Living, has had some health issues.  Please pray for her and her family.  Her blog is full of words of encouragement and you can see her love of Christ and the faith she has in Him displayed so freely in her writing.
3.  The season.  This time of year is so special.  I think about all of us, and I feel so guilty about all the things I have, while there are so many who have nothing.  I go shop to buy more for people who have more than they ever need or want, but yet there are those who literally have nothing.  I pray that during this time of year, we all think about the true meaning of Christmas and live it in our lives for the world to see.

Sunday's Grace

Are you ever amazed at God's grace?  I am.  Many times, I feel so undeserving of His blessings, and then I realize, I am.  It's not because of who I am that I receive His blessings, grace, and mercy, it's because of Who He Is. 

Twenty-four years ago when I was born, He knew my life story.  He knew all the failures and successes I would and will have.  He knew all the times I would sin and let Him down.  He knew that there would be times when I would be so close to Him and other times when I would drift away.  He knew it all.  But even knowing all of that, He still saved me.  That in itself shows you that it's all Him, not me at all.

How wonderful is it to know that despite all the "mess" in our lives, if we have accepted Jesus as our Savior and Lord and believe that He is the Son of God, sent to save us from our sins, we will have eternal life?  I think it's amazing.  Does that give us a free ticket to mess up whenever we want because we can fall back on the "Please forgive me" card?  No, but it does mean that God knows as humans, even the best of us still have a sinful nature, and that's just the nature of this life.  Being a Christian doesn't mean being perfect; it means striving to live each day more and more like Christ and asking for His guidance in our lives.  It means knowing that we're not going to be perfect, but knowing that He still loves us and will help us become the person He wants to be if we'll just ask Him.  He's right there, just waiting on us because He loves us too much to force us into a relationship a Him.  Are you with Him?