Monday, May 23, 2011

A New Beginning

Ok, so it's been a long time since I've written anything.  I've been trying to keep up with everything you all have written, but honestly, work and life have both been so busy lately, that I've barely had the time.  (I know, I know, I hate excuses, too.)  And when I have had time, I haven't had the time to comment.

A few years ago I started a blog (not this one, obviously) and really enjoyed it.  I had several hundred followers (a few of you that read my blog today read then even) and really enjoyed writing about my life.  Then some things changed.  Some big things.  I stopped blogging on my former blog without notice or so much as a "follow my new journey."  When life throws you lemons, and believe me, I got thrown a big Lemon, it causes you to do one of two things: wallow in self-pity and misery of a life you always dreamed of that didn't turn out like you wished or start fresh, move on, and make lemonade.  I chose the later.

I've contemplated many times sharing my story on this blog, but I've shied away from it.  I guess a part of me feels like my past is my past and there's no reason to get bogged down in talking about it.  But another part of me is seeing how the things that have happened in my life in the past two years are being used by God for good. I hope that I've held my head high and shown dignity and grace through it all, and I also hope that I have been a positive influence on those who know me and those who don't.  I figure that if the things I've gone through can help my little sister and her friends and my friends not experience the same, it's worth it.

So will I share my story here?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  I haven't decided yet to be perfectly honest with you.  Sometimes I think I'd like to because it is my life and the things that have happened, though not pleasant, have brought me to a much better place and a much closer relationship with God.  They've taught me things I didn't ever think I'd experience and I've learned so much about others, myself, and God through it all in ways I may not have ever had the chance to had these things not occurred.

Whether or not I share on the blog remains to be seen, but please know that I'm more than willing to talk via email about it.  I guess one (or really the only) of my hang ups to not sharing on the blog is that a few people "in real life" read this blog and while they all know my story and have been here for me, sometimes I don't want to deal with questions.  The fact of the matter is, I am an extremely optimistic person and happy 99.9% of the time, but I'm also human.  Sometimes, I have days when I don't want to talk about things or answer questions.  I have a great career, wonderful family and friends, a bright future, but I also have worries and stresses.  I'm not one who likes to dwell on them and I guess my underlying fear is that if I do "vent" on the blog, it'll turn into explanations that have to be given.

So, there you have it, a new beginning.  I hope to be back to blogging regularly about my life and the things that interest me.  If not every day, at least every other.  Blogging is a great way to remember things and really share your thoughts and emotions, and it's also a great community.  Here's to blogging, bloggers, and the community they bring!

1 comment:

  1. We all hope you will be blogging regularly again :) And if you feel like sharing your story, you know we will all be here to listen and help you through any tough times!! Thats what blog friends are here for :) xo